A Year of Reflections: Things I have Learned about Myself

I will call this post: “A Year of Reflections: Things I have Learned about Myself (both good and bad)”

I will call it such because after my last post where I prolly sounded like a giant jerk, especially to some more than others, I decided to share with you all of the things I learned about myself and others based on my dad’s death. I don’t know if I will be able to accurately divide these lessons into both good and bad things that have come from this so I am not going to try. What I will do instead is list the stuff I learned and let you judge for yourself what is good to have learned and what is bad….

  1. I learned that while you do catch more bees with honey, sometimes you dont have time to be nice. Sometimes, you need to get to the point and move forward
  2. Which leads me to point 2… sometimes by getting to the point, you end up coming off as callus and ultimately this can be interpreted as being an asshole… I am working on finding the fine line between getting to the point and being a callus asshole…
  3. I have very little patience for stupidity… even less patience than I had before my dad passed away…
  4. I have very little patience for drama. I don’t have time for it, I don’t want it in my life, and if you bring it near me you get 3 strikes… then you are out. (Keep in mind, problem solving… as in solving problems for friends and family is VASTLY different than someone bringing drama)
  5. Which brings me to point 5 — Life is too short, no one has time to waste! Don’t waste time on stupidity or drama and don’t waste your life on the couch (looks in mirror), or wishing and wanting. Lately I have tried to start taking life by the horns and get out there and DO stuff. I am no longer lurking on my local run group’s facebook page… I am out there DOING stuff in the group (SCORE!). Jerid and I have started to improve the house instead of just talking about it, etc.
  6. Sucking at keeping in touch with people does not mean that we can always pick up from where we left off and it certainly does not allow me to go around touting that I am a great friend…. so I have made some efforts to stay in better contact with people who have moved. I have made efforts to get back in contact with people I lost touch with and so on.
  7. I am an asshole. I lack empathy and often I lack sympathy. This was something I realized when I was talking to a close friend recently and I said it to her after saying it to myself… and then said I need to fix that. I didn’t used to be this bad at it… don’t get me wrong, I sucked at it before, but now, NOW, I really suck at it. But I know now and knowing is half the battle and I have been working hard the last few weeks since I realized it to try and change it.
  8. Before my dad died, I had feelings… now it seems that the feelings I have are a much smaller range of feelings… don’t get me wrong I have sadness and joy and various levels of annoyance/rage, and I had these things before but these seem to be my three options of feelings since my dad died… which doesn’t give a range of stuff. So I need to work on this… it just might make me a better human.
  9. I am much more logically driven these days and less emotionally driven… which is weird because I am pregnant. heh
  10. I am working on becoming an adult and ACTING like an adult. Which means acting responsibly… this will be demonstrated in the near future. yknow… kids on the way and shit 😛

I am sure I have learned more stuff but these are the things that have come to mind and in case you are at the end of this post and still have NO idea what I am talking about, feel free to go back and review this post about my dad dying. And hey if this has got you down, turn on some Jimmy Buffett, grab a margarita and kick back and relax and think about all of the awesome in your life. Because it is there somewhere, even when it might seem like you are in the worst place you could be in in life or that your life is really sucking, trust me when I tell ya, it could always be worse… so relax, and start planning your next adventure!

And on one final note, I leave you with this quote:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
— Hunter S Thompson

 

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