felt the need to confess…

Hello all.

I have been having some negative and inexplicably selfish thoughts as of late. For example, as I sit here, I observe one of my tech guys training a completely untech-saavy person in a program she will probably only come to resize images in (Photoshop). This makes me sad. Not because it is one of my guys, but because it is almost to the point of a waste—-I get everyone has to learn things somehow at some point and it is awesome that I taught someone well enough that they are able to teach someone else, and I totally get how retarded this sounds.

I came to the conclusion that someone whom I thought I was very close with, is actually not a friend at all and when I started going back to school, no effort was made on this person’s part to kick it with me. This person constantly expected me to make the effort… GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING. This is particularly frustrating because after my starting school and my booming side business (I make websites!), I lacked the time unless people came over to my house and saw me and my dog. So we saw less of each other and I learned we were only friends of convenience… the other person’s convenience, not my convenience… I also learned that the friendship dissolved when the one thing tying us together disintegrated. Can’t say I am terribly upset… it would be a lie. But, yknow, always taints one’s view a little. Lesson for later, mayhaps?

So with all of that said, life changes can be a little intimidating. Not the marriage thing, I have come to terms with that. .. there is some other stuff going on. Not sure how I am going to handle it and not prepared to broadcast it yet; just know that it is big and that if it happens, it could have several repercussions on the rest of my life… most good, but two HUGE bad things… the question becomes does the good outweigh the bad.

look for hump day tomorrow or thursday. Will make a special effort to get one up this week, since I am sure this is prolly one of the most depressing pieces of dribble possible…

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